Nervousness of a new city

Changing a city is always a big challenge for people who are just starting in their life. I recently left home for Mumbai, hoping that this new city will provide me different hang and give a push to my prospects. Little did I know that with every blessing comes a con in disguise. Changing the city has helped me to be in better control of my daily routine, giving me enough time to carry out even stuff like gym and swimming. But the newfound loneliness and strangeness of the new environment sometimes get over the mental space most of the time these days. Sometimes scary thoughts occupy the mind. Why we are doing this all. Just to exist or have a “meaningful” existence. Or why this all is necessary? One can exist anywhere without pushing much but a “meaningful” existence comes with a lot a “sacrifices” and fighting with your instincts. The peer pressure to make meaning out of this life is what still presses me to reside here which in some sense is like solitude in a city running the whole time. These cities which are considered to be the harbinger of new ideas, growth often find themselves at the mercy of God when some natural shocks like pandemics occur. The city which was providing bread and butter faces a reinvigorated animosity of the same aspiring individuals. On a whole, these cities are run by individuals who want meaningful existence, while the village and small towns represent the calmness and the presence of individuals who want to enjoy their instincts. A day without an income can sustain you in a village but not in a place that is rampant with aspirational people. There are people to outsmart you, work on less good terms than you.